Marriage Advice (Sunnah + Common Sense)

Dil_Sey

1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. Just like husbands wants their wives to look attractive, wives also wants their husbands to be dressed up for them as well. Remember that Rasool Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would always use Miswak, wear clean dress and love odors -Rehan & Misk etc. Above all Allah subhana wa taala is jameel and loves jamaal.

2. Rasool Allah salaallahu alayhi wa sallam had nicknames for his wives. He used to call seyeda Khadija as Tahira & seyeda Aisha as Humaira. Like wise call your wife by the name she like the most.

3. Don't treat her like what we do with flies. Flies are ignored in daily lives until it start bugging . A wife will do well all day long and it will not call attention of the husband but when she start bugging then her presence is felt. Recognize all the good that she does and admire.

4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasool Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam - used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives - radi Allahu 'anhunn. It's a technique few muslim men are mastered in. If you see something wrong , ignore it, be patient and do not argue at the spot! You can discuss the same later in a more friendly, effective and convincing environment.

5.You please her with all your efforts and wealth and one fine day, at a small quarrel, she will say " You did nothing for me, my parents drowned me in marrying you, I am never pleased with you, what have you done for me at all, I was happy with my parents". Almost all wives, one day or another, will repeat the same set, more or less... do not get bogged down... Her qualities are more than her flaws. So use wisdom & get the most out of her from her being strange at times and do not try to straight her as she will never be straight. she would rather be broken like a rib then being straightened......This is wisdom.

6. Smile with your wife often. Allah smiles on those husbands & wives who smile at each other. Smiling is Sadaqah as well and your wife is not exempted from the Muslim Ummah. Remember those Ahadith too when Rasool Allah - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam - would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah.

7. Be thankful to her for all that she does at home. Take the example of a dinner; she prepares the food, cleans the home, wash the dishes and dozens of other tasks and, sometimes, the only acknowledgement she receives is that "there is extra salt in the curry". Don't do that!!! Its against teaching of Rasool Allah (SAAW) as well!!!!!!! If you don't like the food, keep quiet and do not erupt. Show appreciation for her efforts in raising children and managing house hold business etc. She is not suppose to clean houses, wash cloths & take care of your family. Even she is allowed to ask compensation from you if she provides lactation for your children!!!! Hmmm that sounds strange..she does that to please Allah taala & to please you. In return say Jazak Allah at least. She knows that if her husband is pleased with her and she dies in that state, she will go to heavens straight away InshaAllah.

8. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy and repeat them occasionally. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure...don't have to play a guessing game...ask her and work on repeating those from time to time in your life.

9. Don't let her down on her small small requests. Comfort her. Rasool Allah - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah - radi Allahu 'anha - was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

10. Be humorous and jolly with your wife. Look how Rasool Allah - sallallahu alayhi wa sallam - would race with his wife Aisha - radi Allahu 'anha - in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

11. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger -sallallahu alayhi wa sallam: "The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best, amongst you, to my family." Try to be the best!

12. Share house hold business with her, its neither shame nor dishonour. It is the way of Rasool Allah (SAAW) whom we are trying to follow. If your child is crying & she is cooking or doing other things, get up & comfort the child. Who told you that raising children is only wife's responsibility???

13. Take care of her aakhirah as good as you take care of her worldly things. Allah Subhana wa taala said " O believers, save yourself and your family from the hell-fire". Talk about life after death & its preparation from time to time. Call each other for praying regularly & raising children according to teaching of Islam completely. Follow the Sunnah & she will do the same but with wisdom & politeness. Never be rigid & dogmatic in this regard.

Remember a pious & loving wife is a treasure worth more than golds & silvers. She makes the life heaven in this world.

Conclusion: Wife is an amana't of Allah taala to us and we will be questioned for that. You take care of her rights and she will take care of yours. Never forget to make Dua to Allah -azza wa jall - to make your marriage successful for daarai'n.